Cyberbullying information for parents

Parents, you make a difference.  In focus groups about cyberbullying, teens consistently said parents should be aware of what their teenagers are doing online and be involved in their online worlds.

Monitoring matters
Research suggests that teens whose parents don’t monitor them online or offline are more likely to cyberbully others online 4,7.  It’s important that you know where your kids are, who they’re with, and what they’re doing no matter where they are -- at the mall, at a party, or online.  That means you should talk to your kids about the things they do, the things they see, and the people they talk to online..and offline. 

Talk about Internet safety
Just as you don’t have to wait for your child to come home intoxicated before you discuss with them the issues of alcohol, Internet safety should be an ongoing conversation within the home:

• Talk about Internet safety. Kids want to know that you “get it.”
• Discuss appropriate online etiquette. For example, tell them that if they wouldn’t say something to the person’s face because it’s too mean, it’s probably not okay to say it online.
• Just as you ask your kids about where they go and who they’re with after school, ask them which Web sites they visit and who they chat with online.
• Young people who use instant messenger are more than three times as likely to be cyber bullied, and those who have a blog are twice as likely (Ybarra et al., in press). It’s not surprising that such interactive technologies are associated with cyber bullying, which is a form of online interaction. This doesn’t mean that you should necessarily restrict your child from engaging in these activities. Instead, make sure your children know appropriate online etiquette and how to end a conversation they don’t like.
• Assure your kids that if they tell you about something that happened online, you will work with them to resolve the issue without taking away their Internet privileges.
• Understand that to you, the Internet is a thing, but to kids, it’s a place. And this place is an integral part of their self-identity, relationship formation, and social support.

Talk to other parents about Internet safety; just because you and your teens know what’s up doesn’t mean all parents do.

Should you monitor your teen’s blog or profile?
Some Internet safety advocates recommend that parents monitor their child’s blog or personal profile on a social networking site. There is a debate about this issue. Some believe that monitoring will prevent children from posting inappropriate material or allow adults to identify and intervene early if such material is posted. Others believe this tactic may send the child “underground.” What’s to prevent a child from creating two Web sites, one the parents know about and another they don’t? In some cases, especially with older youth, parents may want to negotiate a compromise. For example, although it’s not foolproof, restricting access to one’s profile or parts of the profile to those listed on a buddy list generally keeps people not on the buddy list out of the profile. Know that to monitor the entirety of the blog, including sections that are restricted to a buddy list and those that aren’t, as well as comments that might be exchanged but not necessarily posted to the blog, your child’s password to the blog is needed.  In general, children should be allowed greater freedom as they get older, demonstrate responsibility, and earn independence. Ultimately, each family needs to decide what Internet safety rules fit within their family culture.